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MP3 Art Paul Schlosser Remixed by Various Artist - Art Paul (The Remix Project)
27 MP3 Songs
HIP-HOP/RAP: Comedy Rap, SPOKEN WORD: Poetry
Details:
This CD was slightly influenced by my other CD called Art Paul Schlosser{The Tribute !} because when I was selling copies of Art Paul Schlosser{The Tribute !} some people said they''d rather here me perform my songs. Also others had said you need more to your music than just you. But it was an idea I had on the back burner for years. I remember Blunt from Head Pump talking to me and we thought I should get various local artist to do duets with me. But that would be so costly to pay to have bands in the studio though I might try that https://www.tradebit.com this here was an easier way to do it and with this you have Hip Hop versions of some of my songs as well as a couple of new songs made from pieces of other songs.
But though it was on the back burner I never thought to go about it this way until I sent cassette tapes to Jim Anderson who decided to add music to some of the songs. I like his version of my songs so much I decided to not only put out his CD which is at https://www.tradebit.com but decided that maybe others would want to do it. Well it might have ended there but then The G Wildens (Which is Marshall Stanton of Possible Oscar) came up with a really cool version of Hey Let''s Talk where he added beats to something that just was a boring spoken word piece. Well I like it so much I began putting the word out and soon got several more. Well about this time The Fump website opened up a second page called the side show(It''s at https://www.tradebit.com if you are interested in chaecking it out)where anyone could post a comedy song and so I posted both Hey Let''s Talk and another one I got called Scary Techno song # 5006 (The remix) With Michael Hill aka That Guy and then they not only got good comments but both songs started to get played on the Mad Music dementia Top 20 so I knew I had a great idea and here it is the final product.
Hey maybe you want to check out some of the lyrics:
1.I’ll Meet You On Mars
I''ll meet you on Mars
Tell me what were you drinking ?
I''ll meet you on Mars
Tell me what am I thinking ?
I''ll meet you on Mars
Do you have a spaceship ?
You look like an alien
Oh is that just your make up?
We can you know go to Saturn
If you really want to
Your talking in a pattern
Like you are from Neptune
I’ll meet you on Mars
Yeah it’s really groovy
I’ll meet you on Mars
It’s the new movie
Julie Roberts is an Alien
Tom Hanks is a Martin
It comes with these new Plastic figures
Some are red and some are green
The Angels play harps
As the Leprechaun sing
Some people are birds
Others have bat wings
I didn’t know I was on a farm
It sounds like ducks and cows here
Hey Bob play some guitar
Wow that’s really cool guitar
Scary
Are you scared ?
Dark here
Do you feel dark
I’ll meet you on Mars
No, this is not a drug song
I’ll meet you on Mars
Say did you miss that turn, did you take that turn wrong ?
You looking at me
Rather funny
You just offer me carrots
Do you think I’m a bunny?
When you wake up
From a dream
Do you wonder if life is
Really what it seems ?
Their coming
Their coming
Their coming
Their coming
I hope they don’t get us ?
I’ll meet you on Mars
Yeah I this song is over
If you had a dog
Would you name him Rover?
How about Ralph,or Fred,or Fido,Or how bout Jerry Lewis
2. Hey Let’s Talk
Hey let’s talk
How’s your Mother?
How’s your Father?
Go ahead you can talk back
Oh you think I can’t hear you
Oh but did you know
I put bugs in your apartment
Yeah all over
In the bathroom too I even got cameras there
I know what you do when you get undressed
Well um oh speaking of Mothers
Did you know your Mother’s Mother’s Mother’s Mother’s Mother’s Mother’s Mother’s Mother’s
Well anyways
Does it really matter?
And do you know the point
Of what we’re talking about?
Well you see if you point with your finger and then stab it into someone else’s eye
It hurts
So don’t do that
Make sure you always talk with your hands
And then hit people in the face
And while your talking with your hands it really expresses you know
Don’t you like it when people talk with their hands
You know
Well the other
You know
Yeah
The other day
Yeah
You know
And
You know
Well I’m sorry
Did I mess up your food
Splat
On the floor there
Well I didn’t mean to knock your food down I was just trying to express how I felt about this one situation
Did you see the fish that got away
The fish this big
No the one twice that size
You know the one I caught which broke my line so I’ll never know what it look like
And anyways um here’s the picture with my thumb in the way
So a
Yeah
It really happened
When I was inside that Whale
On the tooth it said Jonah
No I’m just kidding
Um
Anyways
Um
So um
Yeah and
Well oh
This is called the keyboard
And a you go like this and you’ve got piano
And um right here is some strings
This what a violin sounds like
I’m off to see the wizard
No I didn’t right that song I’m sorry
A oh yeah sitar you like sitarist don’t you?
I always thought if I ever
I thought if I ever did
A really different type of album
It would be cool to write a song on sitar
So that I could um
You know people sit around listening to the album and thinking
I’m talking about wise things
And they can relate and get meaning from the album because it’s got sitar on it
3. Be My Friend
I like icecream
I like cake
And I''d like you to be my friend
I''m not very good
At philosophy
But one thing I know is let''s be friends
I''m not a politician
I''m not running for office
But still I say we need friends
And if this whole world
Would throw down their weapons
Turn the other cheek and be friends
Well maybe this world
Would be a better place
There''d be no war or violence, we''d be friends
You don''t have to be
So highly political
All you really need is to be friends
And if this poem
Never sells a million copies
Still I say lets be friends
Cause you don''t need to be
A big time celebrity
To realize that you need friends
I like icecream
I like cake
And I''d like you to be my friend
4. It Takes a Whole World
I got up the other day to see what I could do
To change the world and make it true
To take away the falsehood and make it cool
But no matter what I did I still needed you
Cause it takes more than one and it takes more than two
It takes a whole world to make a world true
Cause there is brown and white and red and yellow and blue
There is green and black and purple too
It takes a whole world to make a world true
It takes a whole world to make a world cool
It takes a whole world to make a world new
It takes a whole world to make a world true
5. Have A Peanut Butter Sandwich
Have a peanut butter sandwich
Have a peanut butter sandwich
Are you depressed ?
Have a peanut butter sandwich
Are you bored ?
Have a peanut butter sandwich
Have some milk
Have some Kool-ade
Have a peanut butter sandwich
Have a peanut butter sandwich
Do you like White bread ?
Do you like Wheat bread ?
Do you like Rye bread
Have a peanut butter sandwich
Have some cake
Have some ice cream
Have a peanut butter sandwich
Why are you worried
About your weight ?
Have a peanut butter sandwich
Have a peanut butter sandwich
Elvis like his
With Bananas
Have a peanut butter sandwich
Have another peanut butter sandwich
Have another peanut butter sandwich
You can always join weight watchers
Have a peanut butter sandwich
Have a peanut butter sandwich
Everybody sing with me
Have a peanut butter sandwich
I can''t hear you
Have a peanut butter sandwich
Wear it on your head
Have a peanut butter sandwich
Stick it in your nose
Have a peanut butter sandwich
Have your mom
Over for dinner
Have peanut butter sandwiches
Have peanut butter sandwiches
Invite all your friends over
To watch the game
Have a peanut butter sandwich
Have a peanut butter sandwich
Everybody now
Have a peanut butter sandwich
I can''t hear you
Have a peanut butter sandwich
Have a peanut butter sandwich..
6. What’s on the Radio
W.H.A.T.
WHAT ?
WHAT radio station ?
Yeah WHAT ?
What radio station is this ?
I don''t know ?
I think it''s WHAT !
W.E.I.R.D.
WEIRD radio station !
Are we WEIRD ?
Are you WEIRD ?
Everybody get WEIRD !
This is KLONE radio station
Yeah we''re like everyone else
We''re a klone
Do you have your favorite radio station ?
We sound like them
We''re not different
We''re not unique
We''re KLONE
This is KRUD radio station
It''s KRUD !
You don''t like music you like crud
Listen to our station we have crud
7. My Cat Was Taking A Bath
1. I was riding home late one night
When there in my house I saw a light
And when I got inside
Right before my very eyes
Chorus:My cat was taking a bath
My cat was taking a bath
It was a quarter to 3
And I don''t believe
My cat was taking a bath
2. Well, maybe I had something to drink
Or maybe I just couldn''t quite think
But my ma saw it too
And she said of course it''s true (go back to chorus)
https://www.tradebit.comew MY Head in a Light Bulb Socket
Screw my head in a light bulb socket
I miss you so much my face is turning green
Screw my head in a light bulb socket
If you won’t come back to me
https://www.tradebit.coml you know my cat it cries real loud
The dog in the neighbor’s yard sure does howl
Well you know no one come and knocks on my door
And the mail man don’t bring no mail over here any more
2.I went to the local psychiatrist Dr Blue
He said I was crazy, I thought he was crazy too
He told me I should give up my love for you
Well you know he’s never been in love with you
https://www.tradebit.coml you know I used to care what I look like when I got up
Now I don’t care what I look like no matter how rough
I don’t care if there are worms and snakes crawling my hair
I don’t care because you’re not there
9. Scary Techno song # 5006
Do you ever feel
Do you ever feel
Do you ever feel
Do you ever feel like your in a scary movie
And all of a sudden it starts to get dark
And all these eyes are staring at you
And dogs
Do you ever feel
Do you ever feel
Not with your hands
Do you ever feel like your in a scary movie
And all of a sudden it starts to get dark
And all these eyes are staring at you
And all these eyes are staring at you
And all these eyes are staring at you
Do you ever
Do your ever feel
Do you ever feel like your in a scary movie
And the music is really eerie
And it starts to get dark and all these eyes are staring at you
Are staring at you
And dogs start to bark
Ruff
Ruff Ruff Ruff
Ruff Ruff Ruff
Do you ever feel
Do you ever feel like your in a scary movie
Do you ever feel
Do you ever feel like your in a scary movie
And it starts to get dark
And all these eyes are staring at you
And dogs start to bark
And they get louder
And they get louder
And they get louder
Do you ever feel like your in a scary movie
And it starts to get dark
Do you ever feel
Do you ever feel
Do you ever feel like your in a scary movie
And it starts to get dark
And all these dogs start to bark
And the eyes
Eyes are staring at you everywhere
And you think some guys going to jump out of the bushes
And take all your money and kill you
Do you ever feel
Do you ever feel like your in a scary movie
And it starts to get dark
And the music is really eerie
And all these eyes are staring at you
And dogs are barking
And some guys going to jump out of the bushes
And you wake up
And you wake up
And some guys knocking on your door
And you answer the door and it''s the IRS and you owe them 2000 dollars
https://www.tradebit.comht Mirror
My name is nightmare and I’d like to say
A Halloween rap I wrote the other day
Well Halloween’s a coming and I’m getting very scared
My eyes are popping out and you should see my hair
I look like a monster from a scary picture show
I looked in the mirror and there was someone I didn’t know
So I started to shout and I started to scream
He looked like a Pumpkin from a scary scary dream
Then I realized it was only me
I’m getting kind of fat maybe I should cut down on the candy
11. 5
This is the speech about the speech about the speech about the speech, which is about the speech actually maybe I should just sing a song.
1,2,3,4,5
A,B,C,D,5
5,5,5,5,5
Maybe I’ve been watching too much sesame street 5
Kazoo
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco
5,5,5,5,5
Guitar instrumental
1,2,3,4,5
A,B,C,D,5
5,5,5,5,5
Maybe I’ve been watching too much sesame street 5
Kazoo
Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco
5,5,5,5,5
My girlfriend told me to meet her at a certain time, when ? I think it was 5
12. Hey Bob, a He Bob, a Be Bob, a Bo Bob
Hey-bob a he-bob a bo-bob a be-bob a be-bob a bo-bob a hey-bob a he-bob
My girlfriend had black hair and it was cut funny and then she dye it purple and then orange
She had 16 earrings in one nose and that''s the truth or is it a lie
Hey-bob a he-bob a bo-bob a be-bob a be-bob a bo-bob a hey-bob a he-bob
She left me for some guy who was ugly and mean and cruel and never took a bath
He wore a black leather jacket with a chain and ball at the end
Hey-bob a he-bob a bo-bob a be-bob a be-bob a bo-bob a hey-bob a he-bob
I went and applied for a job at a restaurant
They said I was to conservative
Said I was to liberal
Said I was to radical
And then they said I was a communist
Hey-bob a he-bob a bo-bob a be-bob a be-bob a bo-bob a hey-bob a he-bob
I went down State street wearing a brand new suit
It was really good looking
These kids came up to me put a sticker on my back say kick him
And then they rip off both of my sleeves said ain''t he funny ha ha
Hey-bob a he-bob a bo-bob a be-bob a be-bob a bo-bob a hey-bob a he-bob
I told the police and complain to them
They said it was my fault
And then they took me to jail for vagrancy
Hey-bob a he-bob a bo-bob a be-bob a be-bob a bo-bob a hey-bob a he-bob
sing along now
Said sing along now
Hey-bob a he-bob a bo-bob a be-bob a be-bob a bo-bob a hey-bob a he-bob
This is what I think about it you know life isn''t always what you expect and heres my advise
13. Our Gardens in the Hall
Our gardens in the hall
Our gardens in the hall
We tracked mud and dirt there
From 5 years ago in the fall
My mother planted seeds
And now you all know
Our gardens in the hall
Our gardens in the hall
Well you might think that''s strange
But that''s not strange at all
But now the flowers
They''re crawling up the walls
And everywhere on the floor
Insects do crawl
Our gardens in the hall
Our gardens in the hall
Well you know I''d say alot more
But I can''t think of alot more to say
Except for we sprayed those insects
With this poisonous insect spray
Instead of dying
Well you know they all did grow
Our Gardens in the hall
Our Gardens in the hall
https://www.tradebit.comrybody Get Weird
W.E.I.R.D.
WEIRD radio station !
Are we WEIRD ?
Are you WEIRD ?
Everybody get WEIRD !
Today and only today
Get this saw and will also send you these 3 other items you don’t want
Lacking the ability to be wise
Yes my name is not wise
I’m Sam Foolish and I have been standing in rain without a raincoat or umbrella
Meanwhile back at the ranch
3 headed cat claw eating monster was trying to chew Buffy’s nails
Uh And so I say if we turn the left knob a little to the right
But then again some people are allergic to pepper
60 years ago some lady walked into a church near Belleville
So never eat poison ivy in a Cadillac Rolls Royces car
This and all other spaceships
Was brought to you by CIA spying foundation
Where spying is more than just a way of life
Sincerely your friend Pippy
Are we WEIRD ?
Are you WEIRD ?
Everybody get WEIRD !
Color’s by voice
Now just imagine if you can’t see what color looks like what it would be if I describe it as voices
I think yellow-yellow would sound like this
And orange-orange would be kind of like this
And red-red would be like this
It would be kind like this you know
And brown-brown would be like this
Or black, black, black
Purple, purple, purple
And then gray would be more like this
And then blue-blue would be more like this
I think
Well anyways just imagine
Are we WEIRD ?
Are you WEIRD ?
Everybody get WEIRD !
Dairy Farming on Mars
Green Cows with 16 udders
They wear cosmic space hats
They
Their milk taste like root beer
They purr like cats
They are 16,000 feet tall
But only an inch wide
Only an inch wide
Only an inch wide
Are we WEIRD ?
Are you WEIRD ?
Everybody get WEIRD !
How about kazoo
Wow that’s like gravy on your biscuit
Would you like to super size that
This kazoo solo is not solving your problems
Join the Christmas Book Club !
Our latest best sellers are:
Martyred Trees Are Dying
Saint Nicholas is the Pope
The Red on Santa’s Clothes Means He’s a Communist From The USSR
And Reindeer Can’t Fly
We still sell last years best sellers which were
An Old Man Running Around in His Red Long Johns is a Disgrace to Society
Stay Off The Sauce Rudolph
And Yes Virginia Your Dad is Lying
Are we WEIRD ?
Are you WEIRD ?
Everybody get WEIRD !
Hey now when you go and vote I want you
Your Brainwashed
I am brainwashing you on this tape
You must vote for Art Paul Schlosser
Say it with me
Art Paul Schlosser
Art Paul Schlosser
Art Paul Schlosser
Art Paul Schlosser
Art Paul Schlosser
Art Paul Schlosser
Art Paul Schlosser
Art Paul Schlosser
Art Paul Schlosser
Art Paul Schlosser
Art Paul Schlosser
Have fun !
And keep your day job
People who are interested in "Weird Al" Yankovic DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince should consider this download.
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